What really freaks me out…

IMG_0129So once you’re an adult, aren’t you supposed to stop being scared of stupid stuff that probably won’t really happen? Not me. I have some pretty weird, irrational fears that have lingered with me for years and I’m not talking about cancer, death, or random crime. Perhaps it’s a sign of a vivid imagination or maybe just the early stages of some sort of paranoid illness I’m harboring.

1. Driving down the highway and discovering that there is a snake by my feet. Oh. My. Gosh. What would I do? I’m terrified of snakes so I’m not sure that I could continue to operate the car and safely pull off the road. If anything ever rubs up against my leg while I’m driving then this fear is instantly activated.

2. Prison time. I’ve been scared of serving time for just about as long as I can remember. This probably dates back to reading Midnight Express as a teen, which is a horrifying account of an American spending years inside of a Turkish prison. I’m a law-abiding citizen, but accidents happen people!!!! Mistakes are made! Orange is the New Black has made me feel a little bit better about prison, but I still don’t want to go.

3. Falling down and knocking all of my teeth out. This is a relatively new fear, but it pops into my mind every time I trip. I wouldn’t mind getting some new Hollywood-style teeth, but I just think it would really, really hurt.

4. Finding a decapitated head in a toilet. This one is weird and I debated adding it since it makes me look like I might be crazy. Where this image and fear came from I couldn’t say. It pops into my head from time to time, mainly when I have to go into a dark bathroom and the lid is down on the toilet. Let’s hope this fear is never realized.

5. Finding a rat or snake in the toilet. This fear dates back to living in Hawaii when many families believed that rats lived in the sewer systems. Rats were all over the island and grew to be the size of large cats. Some people put cinderblocks on top of their toilets at night in case there were rats trying to come up through the toilets. Others poured lots and lots of bleach down their toilets. As you can imagine, living in Hawaii was an adventure. Trips with the kids to the bathroom at night were spent checking the toilets for decapitated heads, rats and snakes!

6. Finding a dead person sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom. Ok… so perhaps you are now speculating that perhaps I was traumatized at a young age in the restroom since so many of my fears involve toilets. I don’t know…nothing comes to mind. This dead person fear actually stems from watching the movie Nine to Five where Dolly Parton works in a hospital and finds “another stiff in the john.” It’s a pretty funny part of the movie, but it just always stuck with me that this was a possibility.

7. My plane going down. This is a biggie. I hate flying and worry about dropping out of the sky for the entire time I am in the air. Flying just seems so unnatural. The plane is sooo heavy and really just shouldn’t be up in the air. Yes, I know all of the facts about how safe flying is, but that’s why this is an irrational fear, right? My newest coping mechanism is to watch the flight attendants for any signs of visible stress. If they look calm, I am able to maintain my sanity and control my urge to start screaming.

8. Opening a closed shower curtain. You really never know if someone is hiding back there waiting to jump out at you with a knife. Why can’t everyone just remember to leave it open?

9. What if we’re living The Matrix? What if we’re all just in some dreamlike state right now and nothing is real? Right now we could be someone’s version of Sims and not even know it. This bothers me sometimes.

10. The backseat of the car at night. I always check and double check for anyone who might have snuck into my car…even if my car is parked in my locked garage. The thought that someone is back there waiting to hijack me is terrifying.

 What are you afraid of?

26 thoughts on “What really freaks me out…

  1. How funny! We even have some of the same fears! I never knew prison time was something other people worried about, but for sure it’s been a huge worry in my brain! Planes going down, don’t even get me started on that one and knocking out my teeth, yes….that’s there too. Also I have strange fear of breaking my hands! How weird is that? How about I’m scared at night coming home and not seeing a “bad guy’s” feet under the tree he’s hiding behind (someone told me this happened to his wife…as she was pulling in their driveway her headlights made her notice feet beneath a tree, so she laid on the horn! They lived in a wonderful neighbourhood, but how scary is that?)

  2. Good grief #3! I have daymares and nightmares of my teeth either being knocked out or falling all. All. The. Time. I’ll walk with my arm extended by a door just so it won’t fly open and break my teeth.

    I also have

  3. 1. OMG I totally have something similar, I had a dream that I was driving and turned on the aircon and a snake popped the vent out and came through. Totally irrational, but it is now a fear.
    3. I don’t have the falling down part, but I get really claustrophobic in the dentist’s chair and so I have nightmares that my teeth fall out and I have to go there.
    4. The pic made me LOL I have to be honest. Many years ago I watched Arachnophobia and for ages had a fear of poisonous spiders under the toilet seat… we have a lot of them in Oz! Perhaps it would help if you imagined the head singing showtunes?
    5. ICK! This is totally and completely rational! Actually this could make an interesting post… “Things I have found in my loo”. When in Vanuatu we had crabs in our toilet and shower (definitely checked before sitting!!!) I have also had frogs in the toilet.
    10. I always check too, I figure better to be safe than tied up in a strangers trunk!

    • You should totally write about the things you’ve found in your toilet…OMG!! This is a really fun conversation to have with guys because they have a hard time admitting to having any irrational fears…at least my tough guy husband does!! He would only fess up to clowns. Thanks for your funny comments! 🙂

      • If I write it I shall certainly ping you 🙂
        Eww clowns. I have hated clowns ever since I watched “It” at a way too young age to be watching anything that freaky. Surprising I ended up a Librarian after that blood balloons scene lol.

  4. This post reminded me of my daughter- she’s always coming up with crazy scenarios and then saying “well, it could happen…”. We go to a lot of natural areas around here, and after 4 kids and a serious water habit I’m always looking for a bathroom. I’m scared of a snake being in the toilet in one of the outhouses. Or possibly a black widow spider. I’m also scared of mountain lions, terrified of them and the idea that they’ll see me way before I see them.
    The tooth thing- my son had a bad skateboard accident and injured his front teeth. The one that was actually knocked out was a baby tooth, but one of his permanent teeth was pushed up all the way into his gum, and the others were fractured. I’ve had dreams where my teeth all fall out, so that was like a bad dream come true. Amazingly, the teeth are fixed now but I still shudder thinking about it.

    • I’m sure you have good reason to be frightened of mountain lions living in Colorado! I’m not sure where my teeth phobia came from, but I do know that if your mouth hurts then your whole body seems to hurt. Ouch…to your son!! Wow!

  5. OMGoodness we are so much alike. I think these things too! I am driving and I think what would I do if a big spider ran over me… well crash probably and when I go to the bathroom downstairs I always look in the bowl before going in case there is a snake in there. No reason for one to be there but that doesn’t counteract the fear… My other one is being buried alive and if there is ever a movie on of such subject I have to turn it off. Either we are amazingly normal OR we are both on the journey to paranoia together… pack your bags people! Love this post its put a smile on my face 🙂

  6. You are so funny! I can relate to many of these except for maybe the decapitated head. 🙂 I have developed a new fear of train tracks and driving over them. I literally stop breathing and my heart beats out of my chest. I avoid them like the plague. Thunder storms and rodents do it to me as well. 🙂

  7. I’m sorry, but I’m laughing! I have my phobias, of course, by spiders, snakes, and dead people are not among them.
    I share your prison phobia – I’m so darn law abiding that I even use my turn signals in rural America when there isn’t another car within miles. I guess I’ve read enough false imprisonment reports in classes – just enough to really fuel my fear.
    I have nightmares about losing my teeth, but thought it was because dad was a dentist. (I grew up at the clinic, worked there – and actually find my visits to the dentist to be calming and often doze off in the chair.) It is not an “awake” fear but a common nightmare theme.
    I’m scared to death of earthquakes and have turned down employment with some biotech companies because they are located in California.
    I am convinced that every other driver on the road is either intoxicated, falling asleep, or texting – so I’m a phobic, defensive driver.
    When my son was an infant I had some very specific phobias: he would fall down a sewer storm drain and be swept away, and that someone would reach in the car and grab him while I was holding him, feeding him (when we stopped on a trip.)

    Great post!

    • Having a healthy fear of other drivers isn’t such a bad idea. Lots of them are texting from what I can see! When my kids were babies I would be terrified when we stayed in a hotel with a balcony. I was afraid I would drop them or that they would somehow climb up and fall over the edge. This would keep me up at night while we were there and before we even got there! Thanks for all of your great comments! 🙂

  8. I love this! My greatest fear? Well, combine #1 with #4 and you have it. A snake in the toilet. Ack! Wouldn’t that be terrifying, especially if you’re on it? I’d truly freak out, totally! 🙂

  9. We are living in the Matrix. I’m so glad we don’t have a shower curtain, they do freak me out, and the back of the car at night and yes the toilet bowl in public toilets. I think somethings hiding in there about to get me. When I was a kid I had to shut the wardrobe doors or I couldn’t go to sleep, but I reckon the Boogie men were to busy riding their boogie boards to bother with me. 🙂

  10. oh my gosh, i’m so glad somebody else has the ‘head in the toilet’ fear as well…i thought i was the only one!! i don’t even know where i got that fear from, but it plagues me nevertheless. and as for plane fears, i’ve been flying for pretty much all of my life, but with the recent mh17 tragedy, i’ve been pretty paranoid. my cousin was scheduled to fly with malaysia airlines over that same route only one day after, so you can imagine how terrified we all were. thankfully she’s safe at her destination, but it was horrible knowing that somebody you were laughing with just the week before could be in such horrible danger.

      • Such a great point! Maybe I should just refrain from getting the Large Diet Coke next time and hold it.

  11. I just had a vision of these fears morphing into you driving on the highway, leaving prison – with your new dentures – to get to the airport where the car seat is a potty with a snake coming out of the mouth of the decapitated head who says he is the Oracle. It sounds like a movie trailer or sudden death – either way: it was nice knowing you and good luck 😉 btw I’m TOTALLY getting you that shower curtain for Christmas!

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