Mom, Your Selfie Game Is Really Bad

386763_10150438197168152_1945624789_nThis morning my daughter decided I had to take 10 selfies before going into school for our LAST day. Why?? I don’t know. Probably so she could mock me.

The requirements? They all had to be different poses or expressions and none of them could be “mean teacher faces.” Why? Well, duh. The point of a selfie is to make yourself look amazing.

When I finished, she flipped through them quickly, laughed at me like I was an idiot and said, “Mom, your selfie game is really bad.”

In my quest to become cool, hip and happening, I researched the art of the selfie by interviewing my own kids as well as my 7th and 8th grade students today. They told me about all of the various poses. It should be noted that most people interviewed insisted that they, themselves, do NOT EVER take selfies. This is a big fat lie, but I just went with it because I needed the info.

After each pose I added my own expert interpretation of each selfie. My daughters and nephew served as models so you can see what each pose looks like. Most of the pictures used are true selfies, but a few are not.

So grab your phone and get ready to start picking up your selfie game!

Duck Face- This face is often used by “cool” girls who are self-absorbed. OR people do it to be funny/ironic.

IMG_7983

 

Kiss Face- *not to be confused with the duck face* This looks like a mini duck face and is meant to be flirty or an attempt to show off your latest lip gloss.

IMG_7984

 

Peace Sign Over Your Eye or Face- “Fierce” is the caption most often posted along with this selfie.

IMG_0256

 

Double Peace Sign- Trying to look peaceful and gangsta at the same time??

IMG_1580

 

 

Popular Girl Smile- Wide-open mouth, tilted head. This selfie says, “I could not be having any more fun right now if I tried. My life is perf.”

IMG_2454

 

Hand Covering Face, But Not Completely- This pose is used when you need to hide something like a bad skin day. OR…Perhaps you are pretending you’re famous and are hiding from the paparazzi?

IMG_7928

 

Half Face Cut Off- Message sent: I’m artsy, unique and creative. This is also a good way to hide blemishes on one side of your face.

IMG_0434

 

Mirror Pictures- This is often used to show off an “Outfit of the Day” or a body part that you are extra proud of. If it’s the body part, be sure to awkwardly push it waaayyy out.

IMG_2461

 

Best Friends Hug Pose- Shows everyone how great you look, how cute your outfit is, that you have a bestie…or all three!

IMG_7932

 

Tongue Out- Miley Cyrus pose 1. Looking like a rocker.

IMG_8027

 

Tongue Up- Miley Cyrus pose 2. “Such a baaadd gurl. Total rebel.”

20140625_172407

 

Location Selfie- Usually taken some place cool to show off where you are. Roman Coliseum or Statue of Liberty in background, etc. OR…dissecting a frog in your biology lab.

IMG_0251

 

Smile With Lips Closed- This pose is often adopted once braces go on the teeth. Or…some people just smile this way.

IMG_7940

 

Funny Face- These are almost always VERY attractive poses which show off how cute you are even when you’re making a goofball face.

20140325_142920

 

Looking Up At Camera- There are two main reasons to go with this angle. One, it makes your eyes look bigger and more dramatic. Two, it is a great way to take a cleavage shot.

IMG_0477

 

Gangster Pose- Usually involves white kids and weird finger symbols that no one knows the meanings off.

IMG_7952

 

Teapot Pose- Hand on the hip, ladies! This always makes you look skinnier.

IMG_0159

 

Pretending to Sleep- Selfie of you sleeping where you try to make it look like someone else took it. Awkward…

IMG_7964

 

Smiling Pretty- Just a great picture of you!

IMG_0234

 

Bathing Suit Selfie- Self-explanatory. Girls love to post these, doesn’t matter which season it is. Butt and boobs pushed out, stomach sucked in. These contortionist-like poses make body parts look bigger or smaller…whichever the photographer desires.

 

Tilted Camera Angle- “I’m artsy!”

IMG_0370

 

Hipster- Geeky, overly large glasses. You do NOT need a prescription to wear these glasses! Just pick up a pair at the next 3-D movie you see and you are set.

IMG_7968

 

Intense Makeup- No smiling allowed. Heavy lipstick, intense eyes.

IMG_0473

 

The Animal Companion- This pose usually includes a puppy or a kitten held up next to your face.

IMG_0214

 

 

No makeup!- This is the caption that appears with this selfie and it is usually a lie.

IMG_2464

 

 

Eye Pic- This is VERY popular right now. I don’t know what to make of it, but it’s kinda creepy.

IMG_0179

 

Candid Laughter- “Fake” candid laughter shows that you’re having the time of your life.

IMG_8007

 

Now go out and impress your friends with all you have learned.

Happy Snapping!

18 thoughts on “Mom, Your Selfie Game Is Really Bad

  1. Haha. Thanks for this. I didn’t know there are actually different types of selfies. Haha. Sometimes my bf would ask for a lot of my selfies but he would often say they look alike.

  2. I love this post! Working with teenagers I am familiar with most of these ‘looks’ as they need a lot of practise before being camera ready. But I am also a woman in her thirties who secretly (or not so secretly!) loves a good selfie and a mum of a two year old who uses the word a little too often for my liking. Speaks a lot about the world we live in today! Great pics too x

    • Glad you liked it! I think most kids take a lot of selfies before they find one that they will actually send. It takes a lot of work to get just the right look…it must look casual!!! Thanks for your comment! 🙂

  3. Oh gosh, my husband seems to have just discovered selfies! I didn’t know there were so many different poses- all of mine(usually taken with my kids) look the same. 🙂 I found this post very interesting!

    • Glad you liked it! You’ll have to do a photo shoot with your husband trying out the different poses. That’s so funny that he likes to do selfies!! 🙂

  4. I love it! My much younger sister loves the ‘something in front of my face’ selfie. That something could be a glass or book or food or if she is feeling especially meta- a selfie of holding a picture or phone of her doing a selfie of her with something in front of her face. <— We haven't stopped making fun of her for doing those and never will. Ever!

    • That’s so funny! Does she admit to taking selfies? It’s so funny how my daughters and so many of my students claim to not do this. Also, sending snapchats doesn’t count to them as sending selfies. Hope you’re having a great summer! 🙂

  5. I love this! I have taken dozens of selfies, most to be deleted. At my age, the lighting has to be great or I have more wrinkles than my Grandma did at 89. I continue to take them and did read that the best ones for us oldies is from above and a bit to the side.
    Where are yours? C’mon!!

    • Why aren’t there any selfies of me? Same as you…I look terrible in them! They MAGNIFY every wrinkle I have. Duck lips? Oh my…I look like the crypt keeper! Looking up at the camera is the best angle, but I prefer the camera to be a bit farther a way from my face in general! Wearing large sunglasses and cutting off part of my face can also generate a decent selfie. Maybe I should write a post on taking selfies for the over 40 crowd?

      • Yes, please write it. My gravatar, until recently, was a shot of me in the wind, covering most of my face and it was B&W. I love the shot but feel the need to change sometimes. I even took one in the mirror, from above and to the side with more than cleavage and sent to My Michael. For some strange reason, it came out killer. Not sharing that one, though.

  6. Love this post. It’s so true. I’ve seen them all. Personally I’d rather be behind the camera than in front of it as well. My partner and I took some of us when we first met, and were on holidays, meeting his folks (for the first time-me that is= he already knew them obviously 🙂 just for ourselves- supposedly. Whoever was holding the phone/camera clicking, looked like a stunned mullet- whatever that is. Of course he shared our stunned mullets with his family while I cowered with embarassement. 😀

  7. Haha! I loved this post as I’m guilty of taking selfies and enjoying it ❤ My favorite has to be the best friend pose! So cute!! I have not done an eye pic selfie so I will work on that today!! lol.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s