We are finally closing out our school year here in Virginia and are slogging through our final three days before summer officially begins.
Grades had to be submitted this morning so we are all just basically hanging out. As an end of the year treat for my students I decided to bring in my griddle from home and whip up some pancakes for everyone.
When I finished making pancakes, I found the funniest tutorial written on the whiteboard by one of my students. He claims that this elaborate technique has a high rate of success for him.
What We Will Be Learning Today:
How to Pretend to be Sick
The day beforehand, pretend that you want to go to school. Ex: “I can’t wait for school tomorrow, we are eating pancakes!”
- The day before you want to skip, “hurt” your head. Make a loud noise on the floor in your room by dropping something or slam your hand against the wall. Stumble and weave out of your room holding your head.
- Claim to have headache/stomach troubles and lie in bed for the rest of the day.
- While in bed, fill a 12oz bottle with ½ chewed food and ½ water. Let it ferment for at least 12 hours.
- Early the next morning, wake up some people as you bang and crash your way to the bathroom.
- Once someone is outside the bathroom door, empty contents of bottle into toilet while making throw-up sounds.
- Stagger out with a pale face (This is best achieved by holding breath for a period of time).
- Stay home!