Faking It…

We are finally closing out our school year here in Virginia and are slogging through our final three days before summer officially begins.

Grades had to be submitted this morning so we are all just basically hanging out. As an end of the year treat for my students I decided to bring in my griddle from home and whip up some pancakes for everyone.

When I finished making pancakes, I found the funniest tutorial written on the whiteboard by one of my students. He claims that this elaborate technique has a high rate of success for him.


What We Will Be Learning Today:

How to Pretend to be Sick

  1. Diagram accompanying the tutorial.

    Diagram accompanying the tutorial.

    The day beforehand, pretend that you want to go to school. Ex: “I can’t wait for school tomorrow, we are eating pancakes!”

  2. The day before you want to skip, “hurt” your head. Make a loud noise on the floor in your room by dropping something or slam your hand against the wall. Stumble and weave out of your room holding your head.
  3. Claim to have headache/stomach troubles and lie in bed for the rest of the day.
  4. While in bed, fill a 12oz bottle with ½ chewed food and ½ water. Let it ferment for at least 12 hours.
  5. Early the next morning, wake up some people as you bang and crash your way to the bathroom.
  6. Once someone is outside the bathroom door, empty contents of bottle into toilet while making throw-up sounds.
  7. Stagger out with a pale face (This is best achieved by holding breath for a period of time).
  8. Stay home!

29 thoughts on “Faking It…

  1. Haha how funny! I’m also so jealous that you have finished. I have 4 weeks left! 😦 when do you yo back?

  2. smart kid, huh! he’s going to go far in life. maybe i’ll try this tomorrow – we have the school rounders tournament and [sarcasm] i’m just so excited for it, my rounders skills are amazing [/sarcasm] ;3

  3. I HATE THE FACT THAT I ONLY FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS NOW. Now, when I don’t need to fake throw-up just so I can skip class. Part of me wishes to go back to high school and try this out

  4. thanks for sharing – sound alike you are a great teacher – and how cool to do the pancakes! my specialty share was tortilla soup – in the crockpot and with chips on the side….. not too spice and most students love – even the picky ones.

    and was laughing at the diagram – thanks for sharing that. ha. and cheers to two more days.

    • Absolutely! I used it hundred of times in my 20year career as a high school teacher of freshmen and sophomores! It even worked WHILE I was at school!! No, wait. Those times were “for reals”, I think. I dunno. I fergit now…

  5. This. Is. Awesome! Seriously, when I was growing up I don’t think any of the students didn’t have a sure-fire way to skip school. And these, are amazing! LOVE!

  6. I would’ve used this trick back when I was still in school but.. my mom lets me skip class every now and then (not often, but still), given that I help her out with something so yeah. haha

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