My Beloved Monsters and Me

One of my favorite places is hanging out at my desk in between class periods. My middle school students are coming and going, sharing their news with me and with each other. The air is filled with the smells of middle school: old lunches, sweat, Axe body spray, and dry erase markers. Each and every day contains moments that are entertaining, sad, aggravating, and happy, but most of all are filled with plenty of laughter.

 If you were a fly on the wall, this is what you would have heard today before my 6th period class.

 

Kid: Mrs. Forte, please tell me we’re not doing any work today. Why do we have to do work every single day in this class? None of the other teachers make us work.

Me: Who are your teachers? Can I email them to confirm this?

Kid: It’s almost summer. Can we just watch a movie?

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Girl 1: How old do you think Mrs. Forte is? I think she’s like 30.

Girl 2: Oh. My. Gosh. You are so stupid. She has like four kids so she’s old. Like 40 or something.

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Boy 1: What’s your high score on Flappy Bird?

Boy 2: I don’t have one. My phone got taken away again for NO reason.

_______________________________________________

Kid 1: Can the red light in my mouse blind me?

Me: No.

Kid 1: Are you sure? I’m going to sue if it does.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Sad Guy: Mrs. Forte, my life is over.

Me: What’s wrong?

Sad Guy: I told the friend of the girl I like that I like her and now things are weird. She won’t talk to me and she’s kind of ignoring me. *sigh* I’m so depressed. Do you think her friend did tell her?

Me: Yes. Girls always tell. I’m sorry you’re sad.

Sad Guy: What should I dooooooooo???

Me: Well, it’s almost summer now. How about if you just let this rest over the break and see what develops in the fall?

Sad Guy: But I don’t waaaaannntttt to. Why doesn’t she like me? My life sucks.

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Singing Girl: Girl comes in singing song from Frozen…

Hipster: Oh my gosh. You like Frozen? It is SO ridiculous. I’m tired of Disney’s formula princesses — primarily white, impossibly — literally impossibly proportioned girls with boyfriends who just happen to be white also!

Singing Girl: No longer singing Frozen, this girl sneaks away…

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

Me: Hey, could you PLEASE cover up??? (After noticing some bountiful cleavage making an appearance.)

Girl Who Likes to Push the Limits: Ha ha, Mrs. Forte. Okay.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Self Conscious Boy: Mrs. Forte, my mom says I should wear makeup so my face doesn’t look so bad.

Me: What’s wrong with your face? It looks pretty good to me.

Self Conscious Boy: I have zits all over it. She says I should cover them up with that brown stuff even though I’m a guy.

Me: You are fine. Your face looks great. You’re a middle schooler; this is normal.

Self Conscious Boy: But my skin isn’t flawless like hers.

 

Teachers may not earn the highest salaries, but I don’t care because I wouldn’t trade this daily entertainment for anything!

30 thoughts on “My Beloved Monsters and Me

    • Random conversations are the best! Sometimes I wear my headphones on the beach and turn them off so I can listen!! Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂

  1. I found this really ammusing to read. With various examples of humour you really bought the class environment to life. People moan about teaching, only looking back reveals the hidden love.

  2. Wonderful!! btw, if you’re still teaching, (today was our district’s last day,) tell the boy with acne to use apple cider vinegar on a cotton ball, dabbing it on the broken out parts after he washes his face (even with plain water and a wash cloth.) My middle schooler is seeing great results from this, and only started it a week ago! Happy teaching! Your students are truly lucky. 🙂

    • Our last day is June 25 so we still have a few weeks. I will pass along your tip if a suitable moment comes up…thanks! 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂

  3. Middle school – you deserve a medal just for going there every day! I did not think that my son and I both would survive those years. Maybe one of us, but certainly not both. It was like getting up every morning unsure of what the weather was going to be like that day. You just prepare for anything and everything that could possibly happen because it usually did. lol… I love your use of GIFs and the dialogue approach to writing. I could visualize each scenario. Loved it! 🙂

    • Thanks! That’s what I love about my job…the crazy weather changes all day long make for an entertaining day. However, when it is your own child, it is not entertaining at all! I have four daughters and do not find their mood swings amusing at all! 🙂 Thanks for reading! 🙂

  4. You are living one of my dream jobs-teaching! I never got the opportunity to teach. Your post is hilarious. The way you wrote it, I could literally see the whole scenes playing in my minds eyes!

  5. Can I congratulate you on a wonderful post, maybe your best yet. I’m a little teary myself after reading this. You have shown me how hard it is to say goodbye to your children one by one as they go off to return as adults. I cannot imagine how you felt, it would have been a bit overwhelming at times. I thoroughly enjoyed your post and with the pictures of your beautiful girls, it just melted my heart. Well done A 🙂

    • Thanks for your heartfelt comments. This really means a lot to me and I’m so happy that I successfully conveyed what I was feeling. Thanks again for your comment…it made my day! 🙂

  6. I love this post! Why have I only seen this now? I can totally relate… However, in my school right now, we have a faculty room so I just go to classrooms whenever there are classes and I don’t have an advisory class…

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