There are a lot of weird things for sale on Craig’s list along with some very witty, cleverly written ads.
Craig’s List even has a Best Of section where users can find the strangest and funniest ads all in one place. (Not all of these are appropriate for younger folks.)
A few of the odd ones I’ve come across include:
- A man looking for someone to ride with him back to 1983 in his time machine so he can “take care of business”
- Someone looking for a dragon slayer to take care of the green dragon flying over Ann Arbor, Michigan
- A man offering to be your pet cat in exchange for free room and board
Craig’s List in the classroom:
Middle school students love to be silly, random and funny so writing fake Craig’s List Ads is perfect for them. I post a few school appropriate ads up for them to see and we discuss what makes them so compelling. Usually it is a combination of including super-specific details, using “just right” words, possibly telling a story, and of course, having something unique to sell. When they are finished writing their ads, they post them on the class blog where their classmates can comment on their awesomeness.
Craig’s List Ads written by my Creative Writing students:
Miley Cyrus’ Dignity
I have the very small shred of Miley Cyrus’ dignity to sell. I don’t know if you weird fans of hers would want it, but just to let you know, it’s shrinking every day.
I obtained this piece of her at that dreaded concert when Miley twerked on Robin Thicke. (And P.S. it was way worse in person.) Her butt looked like that one part of the cranberry sauce in the back of the can that you are wiggling constantly just trying to make it come out.
This tiny shred of dignity literally flew off her, wanting to escape its prison. It landed in my hands cold, scared, and most of all very, very sad and small. As I write this now I can hear it coughing and slowly dying, so if you really want this you have to act fast. Right now it’s in a cardboard box because it is so tiny that if there was a small breeze it would float away and I don’t want that to happen. Anyway, we can meet at Braker’s Park on the west side of Los Angeles.
If you and your partner need a reminder to NOT have kids, consider yourself saved; I am the perfect example of why. Sarcastic, sassy, and witty to boot, I am the epitome of teenager, and will ruin many good things for you. Here are a few of my resounding qualities:
1) I am a hipster – without the blue hair and skinny jeans, I am NOT doing stuff to please the status quo!
2) An extreme feminist — “All men must die” came from ME, you know.
3) And…if you liked Frozen, you’re doomed. Heck, if you like ANYTHING, I can and WILL pick it apart to the bone, grind it into bread, and BURN the bread until the ashes of logic come forth and make you see things my way. Everything that you like and want will be forbidden, as I will never like anything that you do. After all, teenagers are supposed to go through those phases of hating their parents, aren’t they? I will only cooperate if you listen to me, and if you don’t…well, you’d better listen anyways.
Call 877-241-LUNA for information. Otherwise, don’t. This is reasoning enough to not have kids.
My husband took the kids out fishing last week. My son Bert caught this crab while out and his idiot father decided to let him keep it. I can’t live with…that face looking at me much longer. Bert named him Philipe and lets him run around his room. I tried to ignore it for a while but sometimes…Philipe gets out. He comes out of the room and scuttles around the kitchen and gets to all the burritos, sometimes even hops onto the couch. I can’t take it anymore. Bert is at school right now and I am hoping to have Philipe gone before he comes home. No money is necessary to buy him, I just want this obnoxious crab out of my life and I’m not talking about my husband.
A few nights ago I allowed my ex-husband to come over and make my family some dinner. He made some sausages, but they didn’t seem quite…right. The dinner was a nightmare; he practically burned the house down so I naturally told him to leave. No one had eaten any of the sausages since they were quite mangled, so I tossed them. Later in the evening when I was washing off my facemask I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. The sausages had slithered out of the trashcan and were wiggling around getting grease all over my tiles!!! I tried to hit them with a broom but they just moved out of the way and crawled onto my neck. I can’t get them off… . If anyone knows how to remove most likely radioactive sausages from my neck, call soon for “meat”-up instructions.
Here are some other items my students tried to “sell” on our classroom blog:
- Moldy cheeseburger
- Tissue used by Harry Styles of One Direction
- A unicorn
- Recipe for Earthworm Marinara Sauce
- A stone statue of John Stamos
- Wanted: babysitter for pet rock
- Magic broomstick
- Belly button lint
Final teaching tip: I don’t allow students to sell people on the classroom Craig’s List. Many students want to sell their siblings which I’m actually fine with, but it could turn ugly if they tried to sell a fellow student they didn’t like. Also banned are weapons, drugs and alcohol.