Craig’s List Weirdness for the Classroom

There are a lot of weird things for sale on Craig’s list along with some very witty, cleverly written ads.

Craig’s List even has a Best Of section where users can find the strangest and funniest ads all in one place. (Not all of these are appropriate for younger folks.)

A few of the odd ones I’ve come across include:

  • A man looking for someone to ride with him back to 1983 in his time machine so he can “take care of business”
  • Someone looking for a dragon slayer to take care of the green dragon flying over Ann Arbor, Michigan
  • A man offering to be your pet cat in exchange for free room and board

Craig’s List in the classroom:

Middle school students love to be silly, random and funny so writing fake Craig’s List Ads is perfect for them. I post a few school appropriate ads up for them to see and we discuss what makes them so compelling. Usually it is a combination of  including super-specific details, using “just right” words, possibly telling a story, and of course, having something unique to sell. When they are finished writing their ads, they post them on the class blog where their classmates can comment on their awesomeness.

Craig’s List Ads written by my Creative Writing students:

Miley Cyrus’ Dignity

I have the very small shred of Miley Cyrus’ dignity to sell. I don’t know if you weird fans of hers would want it, but just to let you know, it’s shrinking every day.

I obtained this piece of her at that dreaded concert when Miley twerked on Robin Thicke. (And P.S. it was way worse in person.) Her butt looked like that one part of the cranberry sauce in the back of the can that you are wiggling constantly just trying to make it come out.

This tiny shred of dignity literally flew off her, wanting to escape its prison. It landed in my hands cold, scared, and most of all very, very sad and small. As I write this now I can hear it coughing and slowly dying, so if you really want this you have to act fast. Right now it’s in a cardboard box because it is so tiny that if there was a small breeze it would float away and I don’t want that to happen. Anyway, we can meet at Braker’s Park on the west side of Los Angeles.


-Billy Ray

hipster-woman_largeSarcastic Teenager for Hire

If you and your partner need a reminder to NOT have kids, consider yourself saved; I am the perfect example of why. Sarcastic, sassy, and witty to boot, I am the epitome of teenager, and will ruin many good things for you. Here are a few of my resounding qualities:

1) I am a hipster – without the blue hair and skinny jeans, I am NOT doing stuff to please the status quo!

2)  An extreme feminist — “All men must die” came from ME, you know.

3) And…if you liked Frozen, you’re doomed. Heck, if you like ANYTHING, I can and WILL pick it apart to the bone, grind it into bread, and BURN the bread until the ashes of logic come forth and make you see things my way. Everything that you like and want will be forbidden, as I will never like anything that you do. After all, teenagers are supposed to go through those phases of hating their parents, aren’t they? I will only cooperate if you listen to me, and if you don’t…well, you’d better listen anyways.

Call 877-241-LUNA for information. Otherwise, don’t. This is reasoning enough to not have kids.

dreadful_and_weird_640_15Burt Reynolds Crab-Free!!

My husband took the kids out fishing last week. My son Bert caught this crab while out and his idiot father decided to let him keep it. I can’t live with…that face looking at me much longer. Bert named him Philipe and lets him run around his room. I tried to ignore it for a while but sometimes…Philipe gets out. He comes out of the room and scuttles around the kitchen and gets to all the burritos, sometimes even hops onto the couch. I can’t take it anymore. Bert is at school right now and I am hoping to have Philipe gone before he comes home. No money is necessary to buy him, I just want this obnoxious crab out of my life and I’m not talking about my husband.

feed-me-weird-things_500Sausage Removal Needed

A few nights ago I allowed my ex-husband to come over and make my family some dinner. He made some sausages, but they didn’t seem quite…right. The dinner was a nightmare; he practically burned the house down so I naturally told him to leave. No one had eaten any of the sausages since they were quite mangled, so I tossed them. Later in the evening when I was washing off my facemask I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. The sausages had slithered out of the trashcan and were wiggling around getting grease all over my tiles!!! I tried to hit them with a broom but they just moved out of the way and crawled onto my neck. I can’t get them off… . If anyone knows how to remove most likely radioactive sausages from my neck, call soon for “meat”-up instructions.

-Bertha Johnson

 Here are some other items my students tried to “sell” on our classroom blog:

  • Moldy cheeseburger
  • Tissue used by Harry Styles of One Direction
  • A unicorn
  • Recipe for Earthworm Marinara Sauce
  • A stone statue of John Stamos
  • Wanted: babysitter for pet rock
  • Magic broomstick
  • Belly button lint

Final teaching tip: I don’t allow students to sell people on the classroom Craig’s List. Many students want to sell their siblings which I’m actually fine with, but it could turn ugly if they tried to sell a fellow student they didn’t like. Also banned are weapons, drugs and alcohol.


14 thoughts on “Craig’s List Weirdness for the Classroom

  1. wish my classes were like this!! this year my class has the most boring and scary (not to mention a tad creepy) teacher for english XO we’ve done only 1 piece of creative writing this year!! keep going, i’m sure your class loves your lessons ^^

    • My class is an elective, so I can make it a lot more fun than the typical English class. It is a writing class and my students love it because they are FINALLY given the opportunity to write about whatever they want to write about rather than responding to a prompt or writing a response to something they read. We are getting ready to start flash fiction which scares a lot of my big writers who like to write LONG stories.

    • That sounds like an interesting job! Which grade level/subject do you write for? My kids loved this activity so much that we spent a full 90 minutes on it rather than the 40 I had planned. I love it when I am able to create a writing assignment that really engages them. It would be exciting to see this in a textbook someday! 🙂

      • It’s a good job! My company is hired to write entire programs so I write for all grades K-12 and for whichever subject we’re hired to do: english, science, math, and my favorite social studies. I’ve written something for almost all of the major educational publishing companies – Pearson, HMH, Scholastic, Nat Geo, McGraw. In fact, if your textbooks are recent you’ll probably spot my name in a by-line or two.

      • Very cool! Our county is moving more and more into the world of online textbooks. History and math are all online and science classes are transitioning that way. Language still seems to be a hard copy and I don’t see basal readers much anymore for reading classes/ Eng. Lit.

  2. Yes, everything we write gets formatted for online textbooks and activities now. When I started in the industry five years ago, the demand for online copy was a novelty. Things are changing so fast!

  3. That’s such a good idea! I bet I could modify it for elementary school! I especially like the ad offering the last piece of Miley Cyrus’ dignity, although I expect it’s disappeared by now.

    • Yes, I believe the dignity has shriveled up and died. I thought that one was particularly clever. My students always amaze me. I think your elementary students would love this…any chance to write and be creative is alway appreciated! 🙂

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