Unsolicited Advice for My Daughters

I’ve always said, never give someone advice unless they ask you at least three times for your opinion. Otherwise, it could end in tears. I’ve learned this the hard way.

However, I’m a mother and that means I kind of have to break this rule because I have a lot of advice to offer (really amazing advice) and rarely do my daughters ask me for any of it…much less three times! I do try to be judicious in my advice offering, as I don’t want to be tuned out which can happen rather quickly. Being a middle school teacher, I can recognize the signs of a checked out listener rather quickly…glazed over eyes, glancing at mobile phone which quickly moves to texting or checking instagram, robotic nodding of the head, hurry it along motions with the hands, and finally, eye rolling.

So here is my quick, down and dirty list for success in life which I try to convey to my four lovely girls.

For My Amazing Daughters: Suggestions for Success

  1. Make choices that will make YOU proud of yourself. You have to live with them and with yourself. As your mom, I will always be behind you no matter what paths, decisions, or choices you make.
  2. Marry the right person. Oh my. This one can really dictate the amount of happiness you have in your life. See me later (or now!) for a list of questions you should ask your future husband. Of course, I’d be happy to help out with the selection process.
  3. Memorize The Serenity Prayer and try to live by it. Don’t waste time worrying about things you have no control over. Spend your time working on things within your control. Learn to tell the difference between the various sorts of concerns in your life.
  4. Friend advice:
  • If you wouldn’t say it to them, don’t say it about them.We’ve all been on the receiving end of this…enough said.
  • If they’ll say it to you, they’ll say it about you.This is a mean girl quick bonding trick. Danger! Danger! Watch out for this one. She’s probably collecting dirt on you right now.
  1. Don’t waste your time on jealousy. The most important person to complete with is yourself. Remember the compliments you receive and forget the insults.
  2. Forgive yourself. You’re going to make mistakes, lots of them. It’s ok. Most of them probably won’t be as bad or catastrophic as you think they are. Learn, let it go, move on.
  3. Be generous. With your time, love, and calls/visits home to your mother.
  4. Be grateful for what you have! I saw a sign in a store the other day that read: “What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today.” Let’s see, right now I would have a spring day, my bicycle, the dogs and that’s all. Uh oh. Sorry girls…
  5. Be a giver in life, not a taker. Marlo Thomas’ father says it best, “My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.”
  6. Be tenacious. Be Persistent. If it’s important to you, then work for it, find a way around the obstacles, be creative. Remember when you desperately wanted some shirt or outfit from the mall but didn’t have the money or a ride? Just like that, persistence to that degree.
  7. Save some money. OK, I really stink at this one, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea. Rainy day money=fun stuff, emergency fund, traveling, wedding money so parents don’t have to pay…
  8. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated. Ah yes, the golden rule…easy to say, a little harder to regularly put into practice. Another golden rule? Good living is the best revenge. Both of these goldies are words to live by.
  9. Don’t be a bystander. See something, say something. Be brave, be bold, stand up for what’s right.
  10. Be honest. Lying will get you into trouble, but the cover up will really do you in. If you do lie (and you shouldn’t!), make it right…and fast! Filed under: Politicians
  11. Love what you do. I spend a 40+ hours a week at school teaching and I love it…thank goodness! The quality of your life will take a huge hit if you are miserable for this much time every week. It will leak into your relationships, your attitude, and your health. If you aren’t happy or feel purposeless, change your situation. Obviously, have something lined up before you quit your job though!
  12. Take responsibility for every area of your life. Don’t shift blame on to other people, events, or circumstances. This sometimes worked on car trips when you were little, but all good things must come to an end.
  13. Make a bucket list and knock stuff off of it regularly. You will regret the things you don’t do in life more than the things you do. This is where that savings account comes into play.
  14. Call me. Not maybe. Call me. Who better to call when you need to celebrate your successes or cry to over your defeats or share the mundane details of your life? Me. That’s who!

 You’re Welcome!!

 

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40 thoughts on “Unsolicited Advice for My Daughters

  1. Words to live by! Love the “What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today,” quote. Am going to make these part of my motherly preachings!

  2. A great post!! And a blog that seems to have the same intererest that I have so I must follow this.-)
    Before this 101 Blogging is over I aint gonna have time for anything else than read all bloggs I found!

    • Yes, those are my girls! Two are in college, one is a senior leaving for college this summer, and the youngest is a freshman in high school. Thanks for reading my post. I really like your site…so creative and unique. It doesn’t look like a template like most I see on WP. I had to try hard not to be jealous!!!

      • They are all so pretty! I’m jealous, too! 🙂 Well, I had to try different themes to figure out what really suits me and the header I created. 🙂 This is an old theme but so far, I haven’t seen one who uses the same. This is an example of “try a theme you are not attracted to” in Blogging 101 challenge and yes, I kinda fall in-love with it now. 🙂 Hope I can feel the same with the content I’m going to make… Are you teacher, too? What are you teaching?

      • Wow! I like those subjects! I used to be a writer in our school paper. I’m a high school teacher. My major is English but I’m teaching Values Education for a year now.

  3. Wow, I begged my mom at 18 to give me advice for my birthday, instead of a present. Unfortunately she didnt have any to offer, but it totally wasnt her fault, she didnt receive any herself. I wish I would have received this post! Thanks for sharing and I hope this gets read by millions of young girls! ♥♥♥ ;^)

    • Thanks, you are so kind! I can’t say that I was interested in receiving advice at age 18…probably because I had been getting it for my whole life! I’m sure you’ll be passing along plenty of wisdom to your own kids.

  4. Great list and beautiful girls 🙂 Do you think they’ll read it?
    The only thing I would add is about being a giver- I totally agree that it is better to give than to take, but I had to learn the hard way how to not let people take advantage of me. Takers seek out givers, unfortunately, and I had to learn how to give wisely and not indiscriminately.

    • Learning to say no is such an important lesson, especially for women!! I agree totally. The girls will read the list because I will make them!! Will they listen to me…who knows?? Who listens to their parents? Lots of things you really have to experience and learn on your own. Where do you find the smiley faces??? I can’t find them!

  5. What a great post! I think every young lady eventually wishes they were given great advice like that… though they might not admit it at the time 🙂

  6. Hi.I have just noticed your comment on “janegundogan” Blog about “Why are you here”. I clicked on it and have just read your blog above, Truly great advice and from the heart. I have one very precious diamond of a daughter…., you have 3 diamonds, triple the fun, hugs, kisses, enjoyment, happiness,support. you are truly blessed.
    I intend to read through your other blogs at a later date.
    Congratulations on a great blog site…. Cherry Blossom trees are my favorite tree! I bought my first family house just because it had one in the garden.
    Kind regards
    Jan

    • Thank you for your kind words. I actually am lucky enough to have four daughters! Oh the drama, laughs and fun!! Cherry blossom trees are beautiful, but you have to get your pictures in fast before the blossoms are gone. 🙂

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